What Keeps Me Up At Night

Is thinking that I could of done more.  I could of given more, I could of taken more classes, I could of talked less and listened more, I could of studied harder, I could of been more.  I know that everyone has these thoughts, but when does it go from a neglected after-thought to a course of action?  I am at the point of my life when I should be doing more.  Now is the time to travel, now is the time to stand up and make a statement, now is the time to take the big chances to chase the big dreams.  What am I doing sitting down?  Why am I content to sit on the sidelines?  What happened to the dreams?  I used to dream these huge elaborate dreams full of color and craziness…but now it seems that I just sleep.   So, I decided today that I am going to wake up and start dreaming and chasing the wild things in life.  First goal is to do well on my MCAT.

I normally don’t talk about my failures.  I am kinda prideful, and I am working on it; but I hate admitting that I am wrong or that I could of done better.  I already delayed medical school one year because I suffer from the sin of procrastination and now I am going to delay for a second year because I need to do better on the MCAT.  All I can think is that I could of done better, I could of studied harder, I could of committed more, I could of done something different, I could of,  I could of, I could of..but didn’t.  I don’t even have a good excuse of why not.

So here it is:  I will work on my character flaws, I will be a better friend, I will work on being humble, I will be less cluttered, I will take time to do the things that matter and cut the things that don’t

I will, just you wait and see.


About knbohman

I am 25 years old. I work in Charleston. I have a pretty ridiculous imagination. If I were quieter I think I could of been an amazing librarian or museum curator. I love crafting and reading books. If I don't know something, normally I will just make it up and say it with confidence. If I had more courage I could of been a stand-up comedian. I love learning facts and quotes...and one day I will try out for jeopardy.
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